Resurrection is Real!

I have decided to resurrect this blog once again. Funny how life sends us curves, and twist. Sometimes those very things prevent us from doing what is needed and what is best for our souls. We should have never gotten married. There. It’s out there. Floating around somewhere in the universe. A truth I could have told myself in a galaxy far, far, away. Or as I’ve imagined starting a book like Karen Blixen, I had a marriage, instead of “I had a farm in Africa.” For twenty five years I was a silent partner about what was happening in my marriage. For twenty five plus years daily pain and regret alongside hope and faith have been my companions. You see, the person I trusted and love more than anyone had a toxic secret that he told me he wanted to overcome. I trusted him, walked beside him, went to therapy with him, loved him. And in the end the betrayal and carnage from so many lies and deceptions ended the marriage. The walk of faith is a daily endeavor. One that takes courage, spiritual muscle, and hope. It is time to tell the story. My story as truthfully as I can. From my perspective, from my heart, from a desire to help anyone that might also be in a relationship of toxic betrayal. We were married 38 years! 38 years is a long time! Oh but let me tell you the love story. Love at first sight

does exist. But remember this is MY story, how I felt, and saw our life. I don't claim I was right, how can anyone claim to be accurate in a relationship of the heart. Isn't that the point of love? To love with all your heart, into that dangerously exciting place of blindness? I was there from the first moment I looked into those beautiful eyes. College days, the semester had not quite started and there he was. Standing beautifully in front of me. I felt like I was looking at Brad Pitt or a reincarnation of a Ralph Lauren model. And yes I did swoon, but only to myself. I held my breath while my roommate introduced us. And then I still can not believe the words that came from my mouth! College, Saturday, the prospects of meeting new people and he needed a ride to the liquor store. "I've got a car, I'll drive you". What was I thinking! Some powerful emotion took over my mind and body, and off I went on an adventure of a life time. That's all it took, those eyes, and that voice.

No time to post

Slacker

Well sometimes life gets so busy somethings got to go! I know you all have those periods in your lives. But with Blogging it becomes really apparent and public as to what we all choose to give up. In fact, I think about what to blog, but because there is so much I give up...Too much thinking... and as you know sometimes that just a hard thing to do. So, here's again to a new commitment! And in the mean time these are some of the wonderful things in my life! Our cute grandson who is so funny, my darling Katie and Spencer finding joy in everyday, The adventurous Plewe couple that just returned from New Zealand/Australia, and travel up and down the coast and to and from UT constantly, Our beautiful Carly, enduring all the tests these economic times have to give, Elder Max, and his conquering the Korean language as he serves in S. Korea, And of course, Lucky Luke who got to climb Half Dome, go to EFY, play volleyball, shoot hoops, and watch his parents annoy him daily, and my loving husband that I get to make Mashoonga!'s with!

LEMON MERINGUE PIE

My girl's are always calling for recipes and with our beautiful spring weather I thought I would post one of our all time favorites. It comes from a department store restaurant I went to with my mom when I was a little girl. Bullock's Department Store was located on Lake Ave in Pasadena. It was a special treat to go to lunch there. They had a fashion show during lunch, with a runway and wonderful models. Funny I can picture that lunch room today with its wide bamboo chairs and tropical green fabric on the padded seats. We would get dressed up, with our patent leather shoes (white or black depending on the season). By "we" I mean my sister and my mom. And we would always order the same thing... an egg salad sandwich with chips and a sweet pickle and Lemon Meringue Pie for dessert. Always a very special memory.
Here's the best Lemon Meringue Pie from Bullock's Pasadena

1/4 C flour
5 T cornstarch
1t salt
1 1/2 C sugar
2 1/4 C boiling water
3 egg yolks
1/2 C plus 1T lemon juice
Grated zest of 1 1/2 lemons
1t butter
1 9" baked pie shell

1. Mix flour, corn starch, salt, sugar and boiling water. COOK in top of double boiler over simmering water OR over direct low heat about 15 min or until thickened and clear, stirring constantly.
2. ADD lightly beaten egg yolks and cook 2 min longer.
3. ADD lemon juice, zest and butter.
4. Cool slightly then turn into baked pie shell.
5. Spoon meringue over pie completely covering filling. Place pie in OVEN at 400 degrees to brown slightly. About 10 min or until tinged w/brown.

MERINGUE
3 egg whites
6T sugar
1/4 t cream of Tartar

1. Beat egg whites until frothy.
2. Gradually beat in sugar and cream of tartar until whites are stiff.

Once a month is not enough!

It has been a busy month! And I hate playing catch up because I am lousy at it. But there have been some really special moments this month, and they can best be discribed in pictures. As most of you know, my son Max is serving a mission for our church. He is serving in the Seoul West South Korea Mission. It has been an incredible experience I'm sure for him! And for me it has been a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I miss him so much I just break down and cry. And at the same time I am so grateful he is there and would not want him here loafing on the couch. I love the wisdom that he shares with us, the way he lifts our spirits, how his testimony has grown, that he is being real, and true to himself and his beliefs, that he is relying on the Lord in all he does, that he can write to everyone in our family and have a very special message for each of us. I love that his humor comes through even though he is so far away, and that he is full of love for those he is serving.


While Max was in the mission training center a sister missionary from the Seoul West area came up to his group and asked if anyone was from the Oakland Mission. Max said he was and they exchanged information and went on their way. Sister Cho is here at the Oakland Temple and serving in one of the Walnut Ward. I have met her at the Temple and have had her and her companion Sister Nai over for lunch. And in Korea her Mom has phoned Max a few times and has had him and the other missionaries over to her house for dinner! I feel so blessed to have this connection with the Cho Family,and having Sister Cho here, in our house, getting to know us, and answering so many of our Korea questions. The Lord really knows what we need when we need it!

mp.danwho.net -- SNL: Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford

This makes me smile and laugh. Watch it and then we can all go out to dinner with Jim's credit card!
mp.danwho.net -- SNL: Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford: "SNL: Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford
added: 02/07/2006"

Max's Birthday

This little video needs no explanation. Actually I am a little embarrassed to put it up, but its who we are. And I thought it was a bit amusing too. Other people put cute pictures of their little kids, well Jim and I are those little kids.

Do Overs

I'm so glad that there are do overs in life! Like re-doing your blog when your sons tells you, "its really ugly, let me do it for you". Motherhood is so good for the ego. You can count on your kids to tell you the truth. But seriously, think about all the do overs we get each day by just getting up and doing laundry again, the dishes, again, the floors, again, standing on the bathroom scale- AGAIN, making breakfast, lunch, dinner, changing diapers, taking out the trash, buying gas, eating your favorite foods, again, yum, looking at pictures of all the people you love or not, kissing, hugging, praying, journal writing, reading, changing your clothes, hair, make-up, shaving your legs, again.... wow that list could go on forever. But it does cause us to run into that great list we all have, the gratitude list. I stand back and think how much I take so many things for granted. What if I couldn't have all those do-overs? I guess I need all those things to keep perspective of how much I am blessed. Especially for seeing and hearing smiles and laughter over and over again!

For the Love of Family

You've gotta love family! Jim and I just spent Valentines Day at Laurel's little love nest to attend his brother Rick's wedding. No, Laurel and Ryan were not there. They had gone skiing for the weekend. Jim and I had a great time visiting with his family and celebrating Feb14Th with his brothers and sisters. First I should point out that there are seven kids in his family. His brother john is deceased and now the rest of them are married. One of my favorite moments of the day was when I found out that Jim's older brother could say all his siblings names at record speed and in order! He said the trick was in the "y" at the end of every ones name; Sammy, Jimmy, Janey, Johnny, Ricky, Stevie, Sara. Try it, it's actually fun to say.

So the wedding was a horse wedding in Eaton Canyon and everything appeared to come off great. They planned everything in 2 weeks! Which to most of us would be crazy, but they did a great job and their vows were heartfelt and tender. We all then went to Grampa Sam's for dinner and cake. I love being with my sister's in laws. I think because we are all getting older and have such history with one another. Anyway, crazy Aunt Mary did a great rendition of "Happy Wedding Day" ala Marilyn Monroe style, the bro in laws sang "Swing low Sweet Chariot" ( don't know why), and Lauren(the bride)'s step Dad sang a Chinese song about a Junk. Which was funny because we all thought it was a wedding song. Go figure..... That's why you have to love family. At least your own..

Laurel and Ryan's Wedding

I just watched this slide show a few times (!) in a row. My heart and mind is flooded with wonderful memories and all those smiles and tears! I have never seen Laurel shine so brightly, and I hope when she is an old woman she will watch this and all the love that she felt that night will come flooding back into her heart. We are so fortunate to have the tech to do that. Anyway, watch again and feel their love and remember who you love.
http://www.terrencebishop.com/2008slideshows/PleweSlideshow/

"My" cute grandson!

No w0rds are really necessary. Katie calls this the "Attack of the Aunties" to see more pictures click on Katie's blog. They are sooo cute!

Pity Party

I have to apologize for my last post. I guess I was having a pity party and I was the only one invited. I guess I'll chalk it up to instable hormones and move on. I think that is the message anyway. Just move on. No two days are the same, they always bring something different. Yesterday at church our Bishop in his message gave this quote, "The futures a mystery, the past is gone, and thats why today is a gift, it is the present." something to that effect. Not that anything has changed much since Saturday, its just different today.

Chin Up

Does anyone else have trouble keeping their, "chin up"??? I could use some help on this. You know just new ideas as to how to get threw the day to day. Don't get me wrong, I'm saying my prayers, trying to show more faith, reading my scriptures, working my Sunday lessons way in advance of Sunday, etc. but with all that is going on in the world and in my personal "Mashoonga!" world I find it harder and harder. And I hate to say it but money would help. So often no one comes out and says that awful truth: I need more money in my life! There I said it, if you say it it will come. I don't know that yet but we'll see. For me the burden of pressure that sits on my shoulders and just stays there seems to be finding a permanent place. I know the self help stuff, music, a song in your heart, cast your burdens on the Lord, but I come back to this lethargy that paralyzes me from "doing". I usually would garden or make something for someone, or visit a friend, or go to lunch, or shop, or take a class, or do service. But as our funds have shriveled up, and all gone to our business, there isn't anything left. No hair cuts, no contact lenses, no lunches, not even a costco card! This sounds so trivial, and I know there are so many with so much worse, physical pains, death, accidents, trauma, abuse, addictions, jail, prison, homelessness, oppression. I am grateful for my trials, I just wish I could afford them. So if anyone knows of some investors or has ideas to send me back to my possitive nature PLEASE respond!

A New Year

Thanksgiving has come and gone, Christmas too and even New Years Day is behind me. The three biggies. And yet I have not found the time to update my blog. Funny thing is Jim and Luke think I do it all the time. Not true at all. While I am on the computer, I'm usually reading everyone's blog and that takes a long time. You are all so cleaver, and the lay outs and pictures are so fun. So the creative procrastinator in me dreams about how I could improve, I try out a few things, press enter and.. you got it, I forgot to press save! Ugh. I think I can remember that now.

As I review all that has gone on in the last 2 months I'm amazed at how much we pack into a season. And the times I love the most are when I'm with family or friends, and the times when I have quiet reflections. Although I have to be careful with those reflections 'cause often I just end up in tears!
So I think I'll just post a few of my favorite pictures that come to mind as part of our holiday starting with Luke's birthday at Disneyland.

1. Talking to Elder Bogner when he flew to S. Korea, and on Christmas Eve- what a joy it is to hear from him. He has an exceptional Mission Pres. and his wife has a web site for the families of the missionaries. She posts regularly pictures and even videos of whats happening in the field. It helps to make the miles closer!

2. Baby Ryan! what more can be said about this cute little guy. I just can't get enough of him. And when he was here over Christmas I had to share him! I wish I had a fairy godmother who could grant me all my wishes and fill my bank account so I could go see him and have him come here too!

3. Our Thanksgiving on the beach with Carly and Luke.


4. The First Annual Guacamole-Off
staring "the Captain", Spencer and Ryan.
Guess who won?









5. Of course Christmas morning, well the whole day. I just love my family so much!


so
what else is there......hmmmm.. those blasted goals for '09....

maybe next time!!


Happy New Year!

Learning new things

So I feel pretty confident about putting this on my blog, since it is not read very often. But just in case, this is an experiment to see if I have the process of putting a video on the internet. katie has the cutest video of Ryan and she sent it via the phone so I'm learning how I could put that on the big screen. Meanwhile, this is Max up at Stanley Idaho this summer. What a great time we had.

It's November

So I am trying to be more creative with my posts. There is quite a learning curve here for me. Heidi tried to show me how to up load pictures so they are not all on the side. Still trying to get that, and as I read the younger generations blogs I'm envious of how clever you all are! Especially all you young newly weds, new mothers or mothers to be! I could barely get the laundry done and do dinner, and there is no way I would be able to do all that you juggle. I guess that's why there is a season for all of us to do what we do.
What a big week we have had in our nation! A new President, a bit of history. Now whether you voted for Obama or not, it was pointed out to me by a daughter that it is cool to have someone to believe in. She said that my generation has had Kennedy, Reagan, and others that have been an inspiration in the political world. But that her generation has always been a bit embarrassed by the leadership they have seen and that now there is excitement and an unknown to Pres. elect and the hope for good leadership and inspiration. I sure hope so. All of us need to do more to insure our freedom and be part of the changes that we want to see in our country. Recently as I get mad while reading the newspaper I have be emailing papers, TV stations, and politicians about my opinion. Our opinions count! And we need to use our free speech for the benefit of our lives, our country's future and that of those to come to this land. We have so much and need to protect those values and freedoms that we already have. I urge you all to do your part in using your voice to better this country and your futures.
I've included a quote from one of the leaders of our church that tells it like it is.

Elder Maxwell made these statements at a BYU devotional in 1978. His talk was then published in the Ensign in February of 1979.

"Make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters, in the months and years ahead, events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions. President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had 'never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional or political life.'
"This is hard doctrine, but it is particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ. . . . Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. . . . This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions.
"Resistance to abortion will be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened....Before the ultimate victory of the forces of righteousness, some skirmishes will be lost. Even in these, however, let us leave a record so that the choices are clear, letting others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel. There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, but others will step forward, having been rallied to rightness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of all races and creeds which was,till then, unconscious of itself. Jesus said that when the fig trees put forth their leaves, 'summer is nigh.' Thus warned that summer is upon us, let us not then complain of the heat.--Elder Neal A Maxwell

Time Marches On

Well I can't believe its been 6 months since I last blogged. Wow!! But what a 6 months it has been. Lets see; a blood clot/stroke, days in the hospital, learning to shuffle, walk, not drool, smile again, accept each day for what it is, soooo much gratitude!!!! For family, friends, flowers, phone calls, cards, dinners, fish recipes, fish tacos, flax seed oil, swimming, encouragement, patience, love, sleep, rest, and more and more. And that's just daily living after a stroke!! Then there was the birth of a beautiful baby boy on May 28! Yes that made me a grateful grandma! And what a beautiful time of life that was. Summer with the announcement of a wedding. Our beautiful Laurel to the handsome and very smart Ryan Plewe! Planning and more planning. But lots of help with the help of great daughters. They took over and did for me at a time during which I could barely remember what I had just done or not done. Thank you so much! Ah, the wonderful, fantastic, surprise of finding out where Max was going to go on his mission! That was also beautiful and a great memory for any Mom... In case you don't know Elder Bogner is going to Seoul, South Korea!! Yeah, Max IS speaking and reading Korean! Then on August 3rd baby Ryan was blessed at church followed by a nice party at home! The whole family together. Those times become more and more important as you look to the future and know that you won't be together for 2 years! A few days later we all went to Stanley Idaho for a family reunion with my side of our fam. There is nothin like the Salmon River to set some peace in your soul. I love watching Luke and Max fish. It's freeze framed in my brain. Now it was time to get Max those new suits that he would be wearing for the next 2 years. Man he looked so handsome! (I can say that cause "I'm the Mom") a few suitcases and all too soon it was time to say goodbye, Sept 10Th 2008. Hard to say see you later, I still shed a few tears-so happy, but I miss him so much. Never under estimate how important you are to your family and friends. We all leave our mark in the sand. Home again, school has started, Luke is a sophomore and playing JV football! If only we could freeze our children... And all too soon it's time for flights to bridal showers, seeing old friends, meeting new ones, more showers, Laurel so happy and definitely in LOVE! Working on the garden, (wondering if I have OCD when it comes to Mother Nature). At last the big day arrives with family, flowers, friends and a beautiful day, weekend. Then its over. Just like that. OVER-no wait...we fly to Utah for another beautiful reception and the first snow of the season. Home. Now it's over, aah. What a season of life its been. Each day a new lesson, a remembrance, a smile, some love or kindness. I have been encircled in the love of the Savior each and everyday. Thank you all for all your prayers and kindness toward me. They helped me to smile each and every day and know that all would be well. Thank you, thank you.

Where I'd LIke To Be

I would love to be on a beach ANYWHERE! It's always so peaceful, beautiful, and relaxing. I guess I should have spent more time there..... Last night my mom (who is 87) said to me, "when you close your eyes try to imagine you're at a beach in Puerto Villarta and relax and think happy thoughts" So I am. I close my eyes a lot this week. As many of you know I had a stroke last Sunday. It affected the right side of the brain and the left side of my body. I am so fortunate it could have been so much worse. What has kept me going is knowing that Heavenly Father is in charge and there is so much peace because of that and knowing that I am in so many people's prayers. How could I noit have a full speedy recovery? Thank you so much, it is overwhelming, flowers, treats cookies, jokes, calls, visits, cards, emails and so much love. It is easier to focus on the bright side with so much support! I will write more about this experience later, but for right now I need to go back to dreaming about that hammock on the beach......

Rex the Wonder Dog

I guess I should explain that cute picture that comes up every time you open this blog. That's our cute, amazing, insane, totally OCD, swimming, squirrel chasing, trampoline jumping, smiling, trickster dog, REX!! He's a great little pooch. Sometimes not much to look at but you always have to smile at his unique approach to life. Like most dogs he loves his family, and we would all argue about who he loves most! Anyway, needless to say in our family he is the true Party Animal!

what really makes me smile

I know this might surprise you but... I really enjoy watching NBA basketball with my sons! Its awesome, we all cheer and love the comradery of the players, love the skills and how good they all are. I feel my competitive spirit coming out, which is good because it has been lost for a long time and I am able to be competitive with myself now too! Did you see the dunk contest this weekend? Seriously look it up on line, CRAZY stuff- imagine being able to do that stuff. Its great! I love being with Max and Luke and being able to talk with them about bball and actually know what I'm talking about. I think that as a mom it is important to bridge any gaps you may have with your kids. Find something that They enjoy and then enjoy it with them.

My other big smile moment is being with my kids. I know most people write about their little kids but that time has past for me and I now enjoy these 5 wonderful people in my life. I have learned so much from each one- sometimes little things like Carly telling me about keeping your fingernails all even rather than letting one be longer than another. Or Katie sharing her opinion on Narsisisum and how it has effected our lives. Or Laurel showing me how communication is so vital to relationships and that we all deserve respect because we are Gods children. And then there is the great lesson that they all taught me about family heirlooms! And that the laughter we create together is the most beautiful music of all.

Lots of things make me smile, but my personal favorite right now is my smile when I finish my abs workout! You may wonder why but I never really believed that I would enjoy doing something like that. And I think that hanging with my kids has taught me to try harder. Not just try harder in general but to try for me. Moms are notoreous for encouraging others to do their best, but I am learning to do my best for me. Not for Jim and how he feels about me but for me and my feelings. Finishing a workout is quite an accomplishment for me and that makes me smile.

So what makes you smile......Keep that thought